i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is my gift to your gina
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
