Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
