Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize