i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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