I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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