we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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