Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize