glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
