It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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