The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
