my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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