man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
