ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
