I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
