At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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