Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
