no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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