Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
