so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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