then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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