First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
