Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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