Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
