What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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