Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
