you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
