You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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