Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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