I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my shit smells like andre
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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