I smell stomach acid.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
