Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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