But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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