Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
More tranny stories later!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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