My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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