I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
