I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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