i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize