I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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