I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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