we're blogging at a bar
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
