Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
