you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
