therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize