all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
