I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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