Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
