My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
