She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
handjob tips. give me some.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
