no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
