we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
