And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
