its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
