Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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