VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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