i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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