Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
