I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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