By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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