OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
