Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
