i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Drake has all the answers
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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